Other Music from a... Different Kitchen

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Monday 20 September 2004

Dear Friends,

Enough of the handwringing! Enough of the
doomsaying! Do I have to come there and personally
calm you down? Stop with all the defeatism, OK? Bush
IS a goner -- IF we all just quit our whining and
bellyaching and stop shaking like a bunch of nervous
ninnies. Geez, this is embarrassing! The Republicans
are laughing at us. Do you ever see them cry, "Oh,
it's all over! We are finished! Bush can't win!
Waaaaaa!"

Hell no. It's never over for them until the last
ballot is shredded. They are never finished -- they
just keeping moving forward like sharks that never
sleep, always pushing, pulling, kicking, blocking,
lying.

They are relentless and that is why we secretly
admire them -- they just simply never, ever give up.
Only 30% of the country calls itself "Republican," yet
the Republicans own it all -- the White House, both
houses of Congress, the Supreme Court and the majority
of the governorships. How do you think they've been
able to pull that off considering they are a minority?
It's because they eat you and me and every other
liberal for breakfast and then spend the rest of the
day wreaking havoc on the planet.

Look at us -- what a bunch of crybabies. Bush gets
a bounce after his convention and you would have
thought the Germans had run through Poland again. The
Bushies are coming, the Bushies are coming! Yes, they
caught Kerry asleep on the Swift Boat thing. Yes, they
found the frequency in Dan Rather and ran with it.
Suddenly it's like, "THE END IS NEAR! THE SKY IS
FALLING!"

No, it is not. If I hear one more person tell me
how lousy a candidate Kerry is and how he can't win...
Dammit, of COURSE he's a lousy candidate -- he's a
Democrat, for heavens sake! That party is so pathetic,
they even lose the elections they win! What were you
expecting, Bruce Springsteen heading up the ticket?
Bruce would make a helluva president, but guys like
him don't run -- and neither do you or I. People like
Kerry run.

Yes, OF COURSE any of us would have run a better,
smarter, kick-ass campaign. Of course we would have
smacked each and every one of those phony swifty boaty
bastards down. But WE are not running for president --
Kerry is. So quit complaining and work with what we
have. Oprah just gave 300 women a... Pontiac! Did you
see any of them frowning and moaning and screaming,
"Oh God, NOT a friggin' Pontiac!" Of course not, they
were happy. The Pontiacs all had four wheels, an
engine and a gas pedal. You want more than that, well,
I can't help you. I had a Pontiac once and it lasted a
good year. And it was a VERY good year.

My friends, it is time for a reality check.

1. The polls are wrong. They are all over the map
like diarrhea. On Friday, one poll had Bush 13 points
ahead -- and another poll had them both tied. There
are three reasons why the polls are b.s.: One, they
are polling "likely voters." "Likely" means those who
have consistently voted in the past few elections. So
that cuts out young people who are voting for the
first time and a ton of non-voters who are definitely
going to vote in THIS election. Second, they are not
polling people who use their cell phone as their
primary phone. Again, that means they are not talking
to young people. Finally, most of the polls are
weighted with too many Republicans, as pollster John
Zogby revealed last week. You are being snookered if
you believe any of these polls.

2. Kerry has brought in the Clinton A-team.
Instead of shunning Clinton (as Gore did), Kerry has
decided to not make that mistake.

3. Traveling around the country, as I've been
doing, I gotta tell ya, there is a hell of a lot of
unrest out there. Much of it is not being captured by
the mainstream press. But it is simmering and it is
real. Do not let those well-produced Bush rallies of
angry white people scare you. Turn off the TV! (Except
Jon Stewart and Bill Moyers -- everything else is just
a sugar-coated lie).

4. Conventional wisdom says if the election is
decided on "9/11" (the fear of terrorism), Bush wins.
But if it is decided on the job we are doing in Iraq,
then Bush loses. And folks, that "job," you might have
noticed, has descended into the third level of a hell
we used to call Vietnam. There is no way out. It is a
full-blown mess of a quagmire and the body bags will
sadly only mount higher. Regardless of what Kerry
meant by his original war vote, he ain't the one who
sent those kids to their deaths -- and Mr. and Mrs.
Middle America knows it. Had Bush bothered to show up
when he was in the "service" he might have somewhat of
a clue as to how to recognize an immoral war that
cannot be "won." All he has delivered to Iraq was that
plasticized turkey last Thanksgiving. It is this
failure of monumental proportions that is going to
cook his goose come this November.

So, do not despair. All is not over. Far from it.
The Bush people need you to believe that it is over.
They need you to slump back into your easy chair and
feel that sick pain in your gut as you contemplate
another four years of George W. Bush. They need you to
wish we had a candidate who didn't windsurf and who
was just as smart as we were when WE knew Bush was
lying about WMD and Saddam planning 9/11. It's like
Karl Rove is hypnotizing you -- "Kerry voted for the
war...Kerry voted for the war...Kerrrrrryyy vooootted
fooooor theeee warrrrrrrrrr..."

Yes...Yes...Yesssss....He did! HE DID! No sense in
fighting now...what I need issleep... sleeep...
sleeeeeeppppp...

WAKE UP! The majority are with us! More than half
of all Americans are pro-choice, want stronger
environmental laws, are appalled that assault weapons
are back on the street -- and 54% now believe the war
is wrong. YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO CONVINCE THEM OF ANY
OF THIS -- YOU JUST HAVE TO GIVE THEM A RAY OF HOPE
AND A RIDE TO THE POLLS. CAN YOU DO THAT? WILL YOU DO
THAT?

Just for me, please? Buck up. The country is
almost back in our hands. Not another negative word
until Nov. 3rd! Then you can bitch all you want about
how you wish Kerry was still that long-haired kid who
once had the courage to stand up for something.
Personally, I think that kid is still inside him.
Instead of the wailing and gnashing of your teeth, why
not hold out a hand to him and help the inner
soldier/protester come out and defeat the forces of
evil we now so desperately face. Do we have any other
choice?

Yours,

Michael Moore
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